Some of the Best Tumblr Text Posts Ever

Ah, Tumblr. The mobile app sucks and most of the people there are under the age of 21. But that doesn’t mean it’s a gold mine of hilarious things that make you stop and think. Here are some of the funniest text posts every typed out, totally free of the restraints of grammar and punctuation, just like how God intended. Click through to see the funny text posts and where they’re from.

“I FUCKING HATE WHEN PEOPLE POUR KETCHUP ALL OVER THE FRENCH FRIES INSTEAD OF A DESIGNATED CORNER AND THEY OFFER ME SOME LIKE NO FUCK YOU AND YOUR TAINTED FRENCH FRIES” From OreoPrince

“so she’s gay now?”
yeah she turned it all the paperwork last week and her acceptance letter came this morning, it was all pretty sudden. From calms

“schools have stairs so you can throw yourselves down them” From Kanyewesticle

“i’m that dad who wants to start a garage band with all the other dads in the neighborhood but my wife wont let me” From Shutupaubrey

“omfg I was walking home from the bus stop and I saw this elderly couple where this woman was pushing her husband in a wheelchair and I was like “aw that’s cute” but as I got closer to them I heard them talking and she was like “you’re a huge asshole, tom” and he was like “JUST PUSH ME INTO A DITCH”” From Poppunksuperstar

“WHY DOES YOUR NOSE RUN AND YOUR FEET SMELL WHERE’S THE LOGIC” From lindsaylohoean

“shampoo for my real friends

real poo for my sham friends” From tupacabra

“*closes fridge door and hears stuff fall in it*

well… sounds like a problem for the next person” From Infantmetroid

“actual thing an australian news presenter said this morning: And here’s Tony Abbott [the leader of the australian opposition party], heading over to our broadcast spot now. Bit of jaywalking there; nearly got hit by a cab. That would’ve been good” From F*ckyeahfunnytextposts

“what even is the 50 shades movie gonna be just like a theatre full of 40 yr old women eating popcorn and gasping and clutching their chests throughout 2 hours of softcore porn???????? please no” From Averagefairy

“I asked my italian grandfather if the rough parts of Italy were called the spaghetto and he looked at me with so much shame.” From saltnpeppepig

i remember one time the simpsons made a joke about fox news and they got so insulted they tried to sue them but the court was like “this aired on ur network u can’t sue urself” From Cyanblur




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